The Tale of the Purple Kicks and how I'll never be seen as the "Mean Mom" like I wanted.

I'm not like other Moms!

It’s no secret that I am a dork.  I am also a cliché and love shoes.  No big deal.

I also love sneakers.  I was a teen in the 80’s so I’ve been wearing Converse AllStars for a while.  They’ve pretty much been a staple in my wardrobe for most of my life.

Now they are back in style with a vengeance and I’m thrilled with all the cool colors and patterns.  So, I’ve been acquiring a nice little collection.  The problem is, my daughter has recently become the same shoe size as me.  And most of my shoes, including my Chuck-T’s have been making there way into her closet.  Bummer, but fuck it anyway.

So, I haven’t really found a pair in the right shade of my favorite purple.  However, while I was buying some boots I happened upon the sneakers and found a pair, not converse, that were a fuckawesome purple.  And they were super cute, comfortable and made my feet look really small.  Swell!

So I make the purchase.

I do that thing in the car where I immediately make the switch and put my new cool purple kicks on to continue about my day.

When I make it home, my daughter and friend immediately zone in on the new footwear. Shit.

Becca: “New shoes Mom?”

Me: “Yeah.  They’re purple.  How awesome is that!”

Becca: "But Mom, they’re 'Vans!”

Me:  "Whatever…They’re purple…and comfortable and they make my butt look small." (not really)

Her friend pipes in:  “Oh my God, Becca!…Your mom is wearing Vans!  That’s so cool!”

Eyerolls from both Becca and me:  "No it's not."

Friend: “Oh. My. God. (again?)  Justin Bieber has those!  Your Mom is so cool!”

Becca:  “Wait...What!! (squeals & and other teenage girl noises)  Holy Crap Mom!  Justin Bieber DOES have those Vans!  That’s sooooo awesome!”

Me:  “You know what that means?  Justin Bieber is a dork.”

Becca & friend:  “Whyeeee?”

Me:  "Because Justin Bieber wears the same shoes as YOUR MOM!!!  Sucks for him.  What a loser!  You should find somebody cooler to like.”

Friend:  “Your Mom is so cool.”

Eyerolls from me:  “Go away losers.  I need to read my R-Patz blogs.”

So my dreams of being the mean, scary mom are dashed.  But I know it’s really me who is the loser.  Because there is nothing more pathetic than a "cool mom."  It’s a total contradiction.

Not gonna happen.  Crap.

I guess the lesson to my story is.  Don’t try so hard.  Make fun of your kids and their idols.  Do what YOU think is awesome and not what the kids think.  And they’ll think you’re cool because of it. (even if you know you’re really not)

Bella Swan said it and I’ve always said it.  “Yeah…Purple’s Cool.”

Whatever.